Today is my 26th birthday.

25 was the year of // blood, sweat, and tears. realizing how brave I am. realizing that great things take time and hard work. doing things instead of just saying I'd do them. some very dark days. moving out of state. pursuing my dream career. falling and getting back up. being rerouted. meeting new people. learning life lessons. becoming an auntie again. understanding that as you grow, things change and learning what that looks like in terms of relationships. of getting to treasure plenty of sweet moments with my fav kiddos who lovingly call me 'nanny'. of learning that Jesus absolutely will come through even when all else is hopeless. reaping what I've sown. understanding humanity + grace and how they work together. and so much more.

My hope for 26 is that I'd be a fiercely loving, powerful, successful woman who also possesses gentleness and peace. I hope to have less anxiety. I hope to leave a mark on all those I meet. I hope to gain roots whether that be through people, a location, or {hopefully} both.

These past weeks have held many ups and downs {depending on your perspective}. I am still seeing God take care of me and I am still believing for good things. I am meeting new people, loving my new city, and figuring stuff out. I'm learning some lessons the hard way {i.e. tattoos are not most parents' favorite thing in the world!!}, but I'm thankful for the journey.

I leave Sunday to travel to New Orleans, following a trip to NYC and Washington D.C. next month... I feel extremely fortunate to be given this unexpected opportunity. My BFF Evy and I are still waiting on a home and believing for that sooner than later. We are both relieved to be "moving on" from the housing situation. It has made me appreciate the kindness of people that much more, so that setback really truly only served as a breakthrough of sorts.

Life is slightly weird, and truly not where I pictured it'd be at 26, but I can honestly say that I'm proud of my life, that I'm genuinely able to look back and see the various paths that brought me to where I am. I see that I am deeply loved and forgiven. I see that my life is not my own. I see that what my plans are and what God's plans are can be different, but they are always better. I can see that kindness and respect and care for others may leave me heavy-hearted sometimes, but that it's worth it. I've seen that all I really want and care about in life would be making people feel and look beautiful, loved, and valued.

Every single one of you who happens to read this has shaped me, molded me, blessed me in some way. So thank you.

I am not my own, for I have been made new //

Here's to 26!!!!

12 days have passed since my last post. Those 12 days have been significant, even life-changing {though I know that's a broad phrase}.

The timeline is as follows:

Go out to eat with my friend.
End up meeting the people next to us.
End up getting hired to work set for a TV show.
Start that job on Wednesday.
Find out that we got scammed on the house.
Get my entire car scraped up after getting hit in the parking deck.
Realize again in the midst of no sleep that, wait, I actually have no TN address...again.
Finish that job last night {73.5ish hours in six days}
Meet a whole ton of new Nashville people
Re-evaluate some things.

//

So.
Back to square one, yet pushed further into the things I was supposed to do here in TN all at the same time. I don't really have much to say about the housing situation. I don't think God hangs things in front of us then takes them away and I think that when people do something against us in a vulnerable state, we end up receiving double the portion of favor and blessing. The whole recovery of what has been stolen thing. I believe that's real and that's the only thing I can truly hold on to right now.

//

I'm thankful I was working because otherwise I would have been a lot more heartbroken over everything.

I still choose to believe.
I still am stoked about life in TN.
I still see God provide for me.
I still don't understand ANYTHING about why I'm here, because everytime I think I know, my life changes directions.

//

People keep asking me why I don't just go home, why I don't just give up, etc. etc. but if anything, I feel even more sure than ever before that this is 100% where I need to be.

I'm being taken care of. That's all I really know.

//

The adventure really isn't so bad after all.