Jesus. Is. Crazy.

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves

//

Those who look to Him are radiant. their faces are never covered with shame.
The righteous lack no good thing.
Consider the lilies of the valley // how much more will your Father in Heaven provide for you.
The Lord my God goes before me, He keeps my feet from slipping.
The Lord my God my strength enables my feet to be like that of a deer. He allows me to stand on the heights.
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you.
Ask and it shall be given to you, a good measure pressed down, shaken together and running over.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
BLESSED is she who believes that the Lord will fullfill His promises to her.

//

I made a decision a few days ago. I made a decision that I was going to stop focusing on my lack and start praising for my provision. I was going to stop begging God to move as if I had to twist His arm to show up for me.

I started thanking Him for what He's done. I started praying for my neighbors, for my coworkers, for safety on the road as I would travel to and from work. I started thanking Him for providing for me by giving me jobs that delighted my heart. I started thanking Him for putting big dreams in my heart when I was still in Atlanta and I started declaring the coming to the surface of those things.

//

7/22/14. A month before my 26th birthday.

Rewind: A few weeks back I really felt God asking me to be specific. I started asking Him for extremely specific things, down to dates. I prayed that on my 26th birthday I'd wake up in my new home. Time was seemingly ticking away. I asked Him for a creek in my backyard because it was honestly something I always wanted when I imagined life in TN. I asked Him for a house with shutters, because why not. I asked for a porch. I asked Him for an actual Nashville, TN address. I asked Him for grandparent neighbors because I really miss my grandparents terribly. I asked for a guest bedroom and my own bathroom, because I wanted my guests to feel completely at home.

Back to the 22nd: Evy found this amazing house about a week ago. It all seemed too good to be true at first. A guy had received an unexpected out of state job transfer, but did want to sell his home. He wanted to bless someone because he was so blessed with a promotion and his finances had been blessed too. $600/month. Everything included in exchange that we don't party, keep the house clean, take care of the space, and treat it with respect. 3 bedrooms. 2 full baths. Almost 2,000 sqft. Hardwood floors. Brand new stainless steel fridge. Washer/Dryer included. A year of this. We were already over the top excited about this opportunity and were stoked to go by the house to visit it and check out the lot.

We pulled up to the driveway and both were instantly speechless. We pull up to see a full on fenced in, raised bed, vegetable and herb garden with a watering can and vegetables. We freaked out. We saw a huge wooden porch, a cement patio, and a barn. We see an adorable swing. I look across the yard and realize right away that there is a creek in the backyard. We explore and notice our neighbors decor and we realize we're living next door to grandparents. We are on an end lot and a dead end, so no neighbors to the other side at all.

//

I've been waiting to write this post. I've been believing and anxious for the day when I would post HEY Y'ALL I HAVE A TN ADDRESS!!! This exceeded my expectations. It went above what I was dreaming for. It went above my hopes and requests. In the middle of all of this glory-filled celebration, I end up getting two more jobs and having an interview for another. It looks as though my typical weeks will now include nannying Mondays and Tuesdays, teaching Sunday School on Sunday mornings, and then if all goes well, working about 25 hours the rest of the week. God is providing me with MORE than I need.

To top off the incredible day we were having, Evy and I decided to check out this church we had heard about. It meets on Tuesday evenings, with the heart behind that being that the pastors saw that with so many artists and creatives in this city, many people would be touring and traveling during weekends. The church meets at Rocketown, a huge music venue in Nashville. We went and were "forced to mingle", something both of us at first were not really feeling. It's funny, I love people and talking to people, but those weird initial "hey, what's your name?" things make me freak out. Anyway, we met this girl named Emma {also, sidenote: I met this rad girl named Hannah who cuts hair through Aveda and she was awesome and gave me some connections}.

Rewind again: On July 5th, Melissa and I went up to the highest point in Nashville during sunset to dream + hope + believe for my city, for my future, etc. We asked God to give us an awareness of the people around us and asked Him to show us things about people if He wanted to. about 10 minutes into sitting up there, this girl comes up to the top of the mountain and sits down on a blanket with a guitar. We both really felt like God was going to give her influence in the music industry and that she needed to not despise small beginnings and all of this. for whatever reason, we chose not to go over and talk to her and instead just prayed and spoke things over her life from a few feet away. Afterwards, I realized I really should have gone and spoke with her, so I just said, okay, Jesus... You do insane things so if I ever get the chance to see this girl again I'll share everything you've put on my heart for her life.

Well, because this is Jesus: Emma, that we met on Tuesday, was the girl.

So, back to this church service. There was a guy next to Evy that I really kept feeling burdened for. The whole service you could just tell that he was angry, bitter, and that he was completely turned off to the whole church thing. I really started feeling God tell me to start praying over his life. I asked God to break in. I felt God said, ask me for his name. So I did. I asked God for his name so that I could pray for him by name. The whole service comes and goes and he stands with his arms crossed the entire time. I notice his tattoos, zombies and blood and wounds all over his right arm. I notice a tear at the end of the service fall from his eyes. As service ended, some of the leaders were giving out prophetic words. The VERY last thing that happened was the pastor called him out. Not in a bad way or an embarrassing way. He asked if it was his first time there, he said yes. He asked his name {thanks, Jesus}, he said Collin.

Y'all. Jesus is so real. He does insane things, over the top things, unexplainable things. He is after our hearts. He loves us. He won't stop. You can run forever or you can stand with your arms crossed in church, but He's going to get you eventually. He does not stop. He is not afraid of you. He's not scared of your threats. He's not annoyed by your stubbornness. He doesn't care if you refuse to go to church, He'll bring Himself to you. He shows up in clubs, bars, on street corners. He shows up at 4am when you're laying in bed, miserable. He is relentless, He is fiercely loyal, He cannot and will not stop.

//

Jesus, thank You.
Thank You for bringing me to this city to see you in divine ways. Thank you for giving me gifts and for passing down through my family and former generations a sensitivity to your voice. Thank You for giving me an outlet to love people in the ways I delight in most. Thank you for doing miracles in front of me. Thank you for letting me encounter people to pray for. Thank you for literally ordering EVERY single step. Thank you for letting me be in this new place, trusting in You and then seeing You move. Thank you for giving me more than I deserve. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for letting me show other people who you are. Thank you for loving me ridiculously, over-the-top, far more than I can even truly fathom. Thank you that your love freed me and now I get to free others. Thank you that I've only just begun. Thank you that you are for me. Thank you that you have set my life apart for something bigger than myself. Thank you for forgiving me freely.
Jesus, thank You.

//

And now... just because I'm still so excited:
Y'ALL I HAVE A TENNESSEE ADDRESS!!!