scattered.

time is moving by so quickly.

everything feels scattered right now. nothing feels secure.

there's so much i want to say, but i'm feeling like i don't know how to say it.

i am ready to feel settled.
i am ready for a routine to start {ironic, right? we get tired of routine than 3 weeks without it and i feel completely frazzled}.
i am ready for a job schedule.
i am ready for paychecks.

but.

in all of this, i am realizing each day how much Jesus is after in my life. He wants everything. He will not allow me to settle for good when great is an option. He will not let me come here, half way. It's all or it is nothing. And nothing is not an option.  He wants my focus to shift in the mornings. He wants me to wake up and think along these lines:

i ready for the faithfulness of God to once again be displayed in my life.
i am ready for people to come into my life and friendships to form.
i am ready for new coworkers and people to love on.
i am ready for neighbors and believing for opportunities to care for them.
i am ready for church gatherings and to grow as i hear the Word of God preached.
i am ready to open my home and use gifts of hospitality to care for others.

there is a shift that is in the process of happening.
things are moving and have been set in motion.

isn't it crazy how much of our days is guided by how our mornings go? if our first thought each day is "i didn't get enough sleep last night i'm going to be tired all day" we've already set ourselves up to be tired all day.

i'm trying to wake up each day here and think about how thankful i am to be here. the first step of obedience was to just simply come to the city. to make the physical move from GA to TN. i am learning to give myself grace in the process as well.

it's summer and i turn 26 next month and everything's going to be fine.